There goes a Fighter..

People have always called me a fighter. That always meant something to me. The fact that someone thought I was a fighter and could come out on top. It meant a ton.
I would go through trials and shoulder many burdens.. and my friends would say to me..
"You can do it, Rachel. You're such a fighter."
Thanks guys, I appreciate the confidence. Really. I do.
So I would do my best to fight through the afflictions and survive another day.. Yet, somehow, I'd always fall back down in the same spot. It was like an endless circle of me fighting my problems and then falling right back to where I had started.
I went on like that for a long time. A really long time.
Finally? I just got TIRED of that. So sick and tired of it. I had had enough. Something needed to change. Fighter? Psh. Yeah right. I was getting nowhere.
What was I even fighting for? I had no idea. I never had any idea.
Then... it was like something clicked. I figured out what was wrong. I had always been fighting for myself.
That was my problem.
I was fighting for all the wrong reasons. Through struggles, I was fighting through it and focusing completely on myself and how I needed MY own little world to be perfectly perfect again for the next couple days before everything would go wrong again. It was so horribly selfish of me.
Fighting through trials simply for myself was getting me nowhere. And it would have continued to get me nowhere..  if I hadn't realized that I really needed to quit focusing on myself and switching gears to fight for God and grow closer to Him.
A relationship with God isn't a walk in the park. His own disciples were persecuted and put to death because they fought for Him.  They were warriors for Christ.
I was missing out on this. Tribulations in my life have turned me into a self centered person. When adversity came my way, I fought through it for myself and my world with hardly a thought to the great God who created and gave me that world. All along, I should have been fighting for that God. For Christ. To become closer to Him and to give Him so much more of me. Ultimately, I just want to strengthen my relationship with my Lord and my King.
Ever since I started doing things differently, I realized a huge difference. When I fight for myself, I spin around in circles and fall right back down where I started. When I fight for God, I find my footing with Christ. I stand firm I don't spin around in these circles anymore.
I think it's safe to say.. that I'm finally doing it right.
Today, when people call me a fighter, it still means a lot to me.
Why yes, I am a fighter.
But now, I fight for my King. I'm a Fighter for Christ.